


In The Moonlight of My Heart

by wingardium_letmefuckyou



Series: What I cannot say out loud [4]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Gender Neutral Apprentice, Mentions of choking, Nightmares, Not the good kind, Other, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:04:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingardium_letmefuckyou/pseuds/wingardium_letmefuckyou
Summary: Some things are easier said under the moonlight...





	In The Moonlight of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Got the idea by listening to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGmyQ8UbZ8

Sleep doesn’t always come easy for you and tonight is no different. It is one of those nights where you’ve been lying awake for hours, observing the moon while it travels through the sky. It’s nothing in particular that worries your mind, you just can’t seem to shut it off, the impressions of the day still swirling through it. It doesn’t bother you overly much, you decided to distract yourself by reading some more, the thrilling stories in your book whisking you away to an exciting world of adventure. There’s just enough light for you to make out the words, provided by a glowing magical orb of your doing. The orb cast a soft, golden glow on your companion and you can’t help but be distracted by how beautiful he looks. 

Valerius is at peace, his hair loose and splayed around his head like a halo, his chest rising and falling steadily. You twirl a lock of the black and golden strands around your finger, mesmerized by how soft it feels. The Consul is unbothered by your ministrations, still deep in slumber. You smile at him fondly. How far the two of you have come, for him to trust you enough to be utterly relaxed and vulnerable around you.

It’s with some difficulty that you tear your eyes away from him to concentrate on the book in your hands again, hoping that the reading might tire you enough to finally fall asleep. 

It’s when you’ve reached the next chapter that you notice the unusual stirring beside you, Valerius twitches and tenses. You’ve spend enough nights at his side now to know that he doesn’t move much in his sleep, at least not when he’s resting peacefully. He then whimpers and your heart breaks at how pained it sounds. The twitching turns into trashing and his hands fly up to his throat, pulling at invisible restraints. 

“Please… Please…”

Valerius is begging, breathing laboured and difficult. Without hesitation, you lay a hand on his shoulder, shaking gently. 

“Val, wake up. It’s just a nightmare.”

You shake more firmly now, determined on coaxing him back to the waking world. His nightmares are less frequent then they used to be but they still plague him from time to time. The sooner you can get him out of it, the better. 

“Please my dear, wake up.”

He sits upright, with a jolt, startling you for a moment. There’s a wildness in his eyes, he looks downright terrified and lost until he spots you and his shoulders seem to relax a little. You reach out for him, pushing his hair out of his face gently. Valerius leans into your palm, drawn to the warmth and comfort your touch provides. 

“Nightmare?”

He nods, too shaken to speak yet. You don’t even have to ask with it was about. It’s always the same. The Devil’s chains, getting tighter and tighter around his neck until he can’t breathe anymore. Choking the life out of him, turning him into a beast with horns and claws. He once told you that sometimes you are in the dreams too, trying to free him but to no avail.  
You didn’t fail in real life, the chains are gone, broken by your magic. Your presence in his bed is a gentle reminder of that fact. 

“He can’t hurt you, Val. Never again. I won’t allow him.” 

Valerius nods again, less disoriented then he was a few moments ago. The terror in his eyes has changed into a vulnerability you rarely see during the day, a desperate plea for comfort and protection. A want for something as simple as your affection, for all the love you have to give. 

“Come here.”

You beckon him into your waiting arms and he complies easily, gladly. Valerius hides his face in the crook of your neck, finding solace in the scent that lingers there and that is so unmistakably you. The feeling of your fingers combing through his hairs is so soothing and relaxing and he can’t help but snuggle closer. You marvel at how incredibly soft the velvety black tresses feel between your fingers, you could do this for hours if you’d have to. Your lips find their way to his temple, pressing tender butterfly kisses to his skin. You never tell him but you infuse every touch of your lips with a tiny flow of magic, just enough to make him feel warm and at ease. His little sigh of contentment tells you it’s working perfectly.  
In a matter of only minutes, his breathing slows down and you know he’s close to falling asleep again. 

“Don’t leave.” 

It’s a low mumble, spoken against your skin. You’re not even sure if you were meant to hear it but you answer nonetheless. 

“Never.”

Valerius hums, pleased by your response. You let the light of your magical orb die out, content to just enjoy holding your dear Consul close. The light of the moon filters through the curtains, providing just enough light to see his eyes flutter shut, overtaken by fatigue. 

When you are sure that he’s sound asleep again, you kiss the top of his head. There are things you never say during daylight but the nighttime makes you bolder, your heart spilling over with emotion. 

You whisper softly into his hair, with only the moon as your witness. 

“I love you.”


End file.
